Losing Yourself to Find Another You

Hello Everyone,

Hoping you all are doing great. A post was long on my mind, but only today after I served a rather simplistic dal roti lunch for a Sunday, I decided I am gonna play sport. With the non-stop downpour outside, there is nothing better than making myself a cuppa and starting to type.

Aaaaaah what a day, what a way, when there's a lot to say. :)

In keeping with my tradition of writing long & often unrelated Post Titles; I have named this one "Losing Yourself to Find Another You". Honestly that would not qualify as completely unrelated but its a little bit of those things that count as far-fetched.

Okay. Let me build a little background to this post. Lemme give you a small personal update.

Earlier this year, I took two plunges. First I went bungee jumping(45mtrs) and then a week from that incident, I went somersaulting into that age old institution called "marriage". Amid-st simple yet beautiful temple wedding rituals with my near & dear ones within arm's reach, I strode over to the other side of that thin line. That line on the other side of which we know "Life Changes". Whether one has been married, once or twice, or never before, & whether or not is considering one in the future- we all know that "Life will never be the same again."

The usual yet unusual followed thereafter. We went on a road trip for our honeymoon. Discovered topographies of natural & unnatural natures...LOL(please don't get ideas here). Returned in about 10days to set up a domestic world for ourselves. Groceries, laundry, bills & housekeeping unceremoniously arrived & settled themselves in our lives.

And like most things in life, life fell into a routine. In a very nice way though. More in a beautifully content way.
And then one fine day the Soh in me rose to its element; and said to herself, its Time to do more than just this. And there started my quest to plan my next escapade. An escapade to discover another facet of myself & my life.

This year in my mind, I have set quite a few targets. All of them personal. So I went through my list and decided upon checking off one of the many to-do things lying there. To give you a sample, following are some that I have already conquered:
- beat my aversion to orange(color)
- not succumb to my high altitude & motion sickness
- tackle my abhorrence towards strong smelling(perhaps flavored) fruits(plums, peaches, apricots)
- disrupt my inherent need to be in control
- etc etc

And thus a plan was laid out for a solo trip to Spiti & Lahaul in Himachal Pradesh. And this is where my post title will find its relevance. "Losing Yourself to Find Another You". I kept this trip planned for months and not shared with anyone beyond family(new & old) to avoid the obvious questions & unsolicited advise. I strongly advocate solo travel while many find it discomforting and thus the use of discretion. To each is his/her own, like they say.

I am of the view, that a trip with yourself has many obvious advantages:
1. You have to follow no itinerary
2. You don't have to wake up, eat meals, defecate & sleep as per anyone else
3. Nobody else will influence what you want to learn, discover, explore in your leisure
4. You do just what you wish to do
5. You truly holiday

In addition to the above, it does some wonderful things to you
1. You become truly aware of yourself & surroundings physically
2. You are forced into crisis management(god forbid if any)
3. You develop decision making(even if that simply entails ordering your food every meal)
4. You become truly conscious of your feelings, emotions & choices for yourself
5. You acquire some key skills which you will never do in company of others(coz there is obvious natural process of delegation)

And if you stretch yourself further, you will be lucky to
1. Find new interests
2. Explore your physical & emotional limits
3. Develop restraint
4. Set free yet contain curiosity
5. Rollick your deep seeded fantasies(we ALL have them buried all the time)
6. Take responsibility of each & every breath
7. & with that 6th point Fall In Love with Yourself before Anyone Else

And along the way, you meet living beings, things, places & make memories that transform your world completely for all the time to come. Though I was busy accumulating experiences for 8 days, I did manage to click over 1500 pictures to keep for memories. I am sharing herewith a chosen(it was a hell of a job) few of them.

 Hills & Clouds....An eternal love story. Laden with the water deep inside...both.

 Burst of all seven colors of rainbow at a hydel power station.

 Roads less travelled......

 Can you not almost hear the sound of the gushing water???

 Confluence - Of Sutlej & Spiti river...... color, texture and movement.

 Hide & Seek

 Colors!!!

 In one simple word...... LOVE!!

 The Sacred Nako Village.

 Snow Far Snow Good

 Land Slide in Action. Men at Work.

 Warm Love!!

Farm Fresh

Words can never describe what these pictures would. This is my first attempt with a DSLR camera. Please pardon my lack of skill and expertise.

Love to you all. DO try travelling by yourself and share your experience.

P.S: My trip destination was Chandertal at 15000ft in Trans-Himalayan region. Will share more updates later but soon.

What I read is What YOU Read - Part III

 

 

 

2014...

It has been a lovely year - personally & not-so-personally. With the whole built up of the national fervour towards "Ache Din"....I feel we all somehow walked onwards to transform our lives a little at a time.

 

But like a very old play-writer said, "Old Order Changeth, Making Place for New". A lot has changed in the run up to 2014 and in the first half of the year too. For me I have lost two of my source of inspirations. First it was Maya Angelou & only last week it was Zohra Sehgal. From the former, I have posted already earlier. So from ZS I couldn't find anything which I could decode and present.  But what I keep going back to is one of her recitation of Faiz's poem.

 

I am sure she loved it to the core to have recited the poem on many many occasions. So much so that, it became synonymous to her and her public appearances in the recent past. Thus I am sharing today Faiz's "Mujhe Se Pehli Si Mohabbat".

 

 Mujhe Se Pehli Si Mohabbat

-

Maine samjha tha ke tu hai to darakhshaan hai hayyaat
Tera gham hai to sham-e-dahar ka jhagra kya hai
Teri soorat se hai aalam mein baharon ko sabaat
Teri aankhon ke siwa duniya mein rakha kya hai

Tu jo mil jaye to taqdeer nigoon ho jaye
Yun na tha maine faqat chaha tha yun ho jaye
Aur bhi dukh hain zamane mein mohabbat ke siwa
Rahatein aur bhi hain wasl ki raahat ke siwa

Angeenat sadiyon ke taariq bahimanaa talism
Resham-o-atlas-o-kamKhwaab mein bunwaye hue
Jaa-ba-jaa biktey hue koochaa-o-bazaar mein jism
Khaak mein litharey hue, khoon mein nehlaaye hue

Jism nikaley hue amraaz ke tannuuron se
Peep behti hui jaltey hue naasuuron se
Laut jaati hai udhar ko bhi nazar kya ki jiye
Ab bhi dilkash hai tera husn mager kya ki jiye

Aur bhi dukh hain mohabbat ke dukh ke siwa
Rahatein aur bhi hain wasl ki raahat ke siwa

Mujhse pehli si mohabbat mere mehboob na maang

-

 Don’t Ask Me Now, Beloved

-

Don’t ask me now, Beloved, for that love of other days
When I thoughy since you were, life would always scintillate
That love’s pain being mine, the world’s pain I could despise
That your beauty lastingness to the spring would denote,
That noyhing in the world was of worth but your eyes;
Were you to be mine, fate would bow low before me.
It was not so; it was only my wish that it were so;
Other pains esist than those that love brings,
Other joys than those of lover’s mingling.
Dark fareful talisman, come down the centuries,
Woven in silk and damask and cloth of gold;
Bodies that everywhere in streets sold
Covered with dust, all their wounds bleeding.

Bodies that have passed through the furnace of ills
With putrid ulcers which their humours spills.
How can I but turn my eyes sometimes that way?
Your beauty is still ravishing, what can I say?

Other pains exist than those that love brings,
Other joys than those of lovers’ mingling.
Don’t ask me now, Beloved, for that love of other days.

 

 

 

 

Credits:http://qausain.wordpress.com/

GULMOHAR !!

Do you Drive??
I mean do you drive a four-wheeler or ride a two-wheeler?

NO, I am not being judgemental or anything here? I am just curious to find out if you are going to be able to relate to what I am going to share here.

I start at the word "drive" for two particular reasons. First, apart from writing, driving is another thing I simply love. Like brown paper packets, ribbons & yellow lights...Me behind a set of wheels with a rising morning sun running besides me on an open road is one of my most favorite things. Second, drive as a word stands for energy, push & aggressive ness- all three also my favorite things.

I have stumbled upon some beautiful places, people, events while driving many kms. And also I have been lucky to hit some fascinating thoughts, emotions and feelings in the same distance. There is a mechanical autonomy about driving which one most obviously masters in the first 1000 or so kms of one's driving life. Thereafter it is either a mundane boring activity or an escapade set to break you free.

There was a phase in my life some 3years ago when I learnt the difference. I started driving on my 18th birthday and have driven close about 1.25lac kms already. And I had always enjoyed the verb of driving, but that particular summer of 2011, I started reveling in the noun of driving. I was in those days, struggling with some very basic emotions in life. Stifled between definitions of love, care, relationships, money and their actual practices. Every morning was a struggle- a struggle to know the difference and accept it. There was absolutely no sanity inside the closed walls of home and there was more threat or loss outside anyways. Yet one had to wake up, dress up and show up to the worldly duties, call of the hours and more routine jobs.

I used to actually look forward to just getting out of the flat,sitting in my car, locking myself in and drive away. On mostly the same stretch between home and office, because of its familiarity. They were those kind of days, when you stick to a routine for purpose of familiarity and averting any more challenges than what you are grappling with already. My days were so heavy that this was perhaps the only time, I felt fabulous about my life - the time I was driving by myself. I felt totally in control of all events, just like I was of the steering wheel. These were the times, when questions will ripple in the mind and the entire world would be scourged for answers in all possible corners of the mind. There would be dialogues with God, on when would He show me the signs, where would all this lead me to. All my emotions would surge during this morning drive to work. I often had to park a few meters before my office parking lot and drink some water, do-up my kajal, clean the remnants of all the crying and only then carry on towards office. I avoided talking to anybody at this time, coz it actually became my time to drive myself- 60 kms, nearly 2 hrs everyday with Delhi's infamous peak hour traffic.

By now it was May and Delhi was burning hot. If anybody remembers how hot it was in May 2011, you would know what I mean by burning. And I was stuck at the Gurgaon toll Plaza for about 40mins on the carriageway towards Gurgaon. If you have never driven in a similar condition or in this particular condition, you cannot imagine what it does to you at 9am every morning of your life. But as the chaos cleared on NH-8 right after Ambience Mall and all motorists sped up the following flyovers, one particular thing caught my eye. A bunch of Red against the concrete backdrop of a few bungalows on one's left hand side only a few meters before the IFFCO Chowk exit. There it was aganst some patchy green, a blob of bright red. Feisty yet Fragile, in this May heat.

It was as if I saw LIFE. It was as if it was waving like a flag for me. As if I should stop and acknowledge this burst of color specially done for me.
Red has always been a favorite- for various reasons. But that day it came to me as a SIGN. A sign of burning. A sign of bleeding. A sign of winning. A sign of whining. A sign of accomplishment. A sign of accord. It came up as if to say, "Soh, look for me around you. If you seek me, you will find me. I am blooming all over and I am looking for you. In this intolerable heat we shall bloom together."

And then it was gone. Obviously. Cause we are all at about 100kmph at that point trying to avoid the bottlenecks at all exits. Though I zoomed past it in no time, it stayed that day with me. And that night too. And in a tone inspired by Woodsworth I can say, "The red in my soul I bore, Long after it was seen no more."

Next morning when I was getting ready for office, I made up my mind that I will go slow today on the stretch to absorb the sight even more. So, when I started driving that day I had only one intention- to quickly go through the first 50kms and reach that spot asap. There was a zest in my morning, a hope in my heart- that it was going to be a great drive. So I sat in my car, turn the ignition on, pulled the reverse gear and pulled out of my parking lot. Lo & behold- there it was. Less than 30meters from where I lived. The same bunch of Red. How long it must have been there that I never noticed it? As I turned to my left just outside my gated community I noticed another one across the road on my right. Oh My God. They were everywhere, waiting for me to notice them.

The GULMOHAR TREES were actually everywhere that day. I saw them just before I took the DND, then at Maharani Bagh, South Extn, Rao Tula Ram Magh and then as the traffic took right toward USI club & AWWA hostel before hitting the NH-8. And on that day when I had set out to see that one tree near IFFCO chowk and I was determined to reach there earliest possible- I could see them everywhere. As if they were now in a hurry to see me too.

It turned out to be a brilliant day with a fantastic drive to office that day. Actually I felt a part of me bloom in search of more gulmohar in the subsequent days. Its the third summer since then, and though I live in Mumbai now where you see far lesser trees than in Delhi, I consider myself lucky that roads on my way to office every morning are now in full GULMOHAR bloom.

Every year now I actually look forward to the month of May, when my favorite bunch of Reds come alive and make me feel that its time unfurl a new leaf, a new season and a new bloom. I have restless days ahead of the Gulmohar's flowering time, a run up since March when the leaves come on and that palpable excitement to see the first flowers come up. It makes me want to bring about another beautiful change - new chapters, new books & new episodes of life.

So if you see a Gulmohar in full bloom tomorrow or day after(as they are currently everywhere), please do remember me. Remember to connect with the Feisty Flame of the Forest and Fan your inner flames with the swinging of the branches laden with these flowers. And remember to look for them every passing year. They will be heralding a change that we all so eagerly wait for. Year After Year.

And where we started. About the Driving. Drive Yourself. Drive yourself to a new season of changes. It has to come from within. There will be signs on the roads to guide you- Some organic & some inorganic. But they will be there, in Red, Green & Blue. Look out for them and go for them. Your journey will only be yours.

Stay Well. Stay Loved. Stay Blessed.

Soh

Growing Up. Letting Go!!

Hahahahahah........Wassup Dear??

No I am not gonna begin my usual way; not by apologising for not being able to post regularly. Its done to death ya. And now its different. It 4 Days to my 30th. I am at my emotional best with these preceding days. And I am not apologetic about just about anything. Mistakes happen. And I live like an open book. And that does not in anyway mean that anybody & everybody is an authority on my life.

Yes I understand people are expecting me to grow up all the time. More so coz I keep talking of my 30th birthday nowadays. But I have a different plan; Yes!! While I am aging, I am not going to grow old. Rather I am going to reverse the process. And in the process upset a lot of people. But then thats true anyways. I am not here to please everyone in anycase.

I know, acknowledge and absolutely respect the fact that a lot of people out there love me, care for me and are my well wishers. But my darlings, right now I am not in a mood for your idea of how my life should be. You might think and most probably you have already made up your mind that I am extraordinarily arrogant. And I am not even gonna try to change that. But what I definitely will attempt to let you know here is This. "What might have been good for me to reach here, might not be BEST for me to reach where I want to be."
 
And it is humanly not possible for most of you to be able to develop the perspective of my life the way I am seeing it. Not because you don't want to but mostly because you should spend that time developing a perspective for your life rather than mine.
 
As it happens to be the time of year that most states of India are celebrating their traditional New Years as per the solar calender, here is a small gift from me to you. A poem by Samuel Ullman that I first read in the year 2009 and since then has always been very close to my heart. I have often shared with people in different contexts, but here it is in MY context. In the context of GROWING UP but not OLD this year:




YOUTH - by Samuel Ullman
 
Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than a body of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what's next, and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the Infinite, so long are you young.

When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch the waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at eighty.

See Ya. Have Fun. Stay Alive.

loads of love
Soh
 

What I Read is what YOU Read - Part 2

Hey All My Lovely Ones,

I know. I know its been a while. Perhaps all of you have come back here to see if I decided to get up from my blogging slumber. Well see, I finally did. Today.

This blog of mine has always been for me a medium of deeper contemplation about life and me. Thus it is almost always triggered by a present moment. A moment disruptive enough to set you in what a dear friend refers to "Thinking Mode".

The year 2013 is coming to an end. Kids are hoping Santa will leave them their favorite gifts tonight in their stockings world over(HOPE). Youngsters have their plans chalked out- where, how, when and with whom they will usher in the new year(PLAN). Some are going to merely change the digit at the end of the date string(ROUTINE). And there is a large number of those who will perhaps be thankful only to see the next year come by(SURVIVE).

Hope. Plan. Routine. Survive.
My take on this year end is summed up in the above four words. With every stage of life what we do with a particular event changes. Hope keeps us going, while planning brings us exhilaration of a possibility that our wishes will be fulfilled but then Routine sets in with its mundanity and you are only glad that you survived it. :)

That takes me to this piece of poetry that I have a print of on my office desk pin board. In my view Henley captures the essence of "going about life" so magnificently that poets in every lifetime will wonder how to transcend the benchmark set by him more than 100years ago.

Pinning it below for you all to read. Hope you like it. Leave a comment to share your views.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. 

William Ernest Henley

Have a Fantastic Day. A Magical Year End Experience.

Loads of Love to All.

Rights of Admission - RESERVED

Amongst a whole host of things that I have been contemplating in the last couple of weeks, there has been a predominant thought on my mind. I really don't know how most people manage this situation, but I am often left bewildered by the way most people receive it. The point in question is, "Saying & Accepting a NO"

Pardon me if I keep re-iterating that growing up does this, growing up does that, but I surely believe that all adult manifestations are deeply rooted some where in our childhood. And most of my writing stems from where we all were when our beliefs, characters and lifestyles were being formed. I have always maintained that parenting is a tough thing- and knowing the difference between parenting an adult from parenting a child is the toughest. I can almost hear half my audience sigh and an emphatic exclamation of how do I know anything about parenting. Well I am not challenging anyone or their ways, but I increasingly feel that there has to be an emphasis on "agreeing to disagreeing" bit.

I often get told that I rebuff at most proposals. At other times, I am told I am insensitive. I am also told that I do not care for people and their emotions and related offerings. I am told I do  not understand what others are going through. I am told my world starts and end at me. All of the above majorly guided by the fact that I do not agree to everything shoved my way all the time. When in reality I either affirm or refuse a proposal only basis what I feel like doing with the time I have on my hand. I strongly believe that once you are an adult, you are solely responsible for the things. activities, emotions and feelings you will subject yourself too. Then why this whole pandemonium about always receiving an acceptance from other people for what you want to do with your life.

I was told only last night that if I was refused a situation, I would never ever come back to ask again. And it was told to me in a manner to make me feel apologetic about it. OFCOURSE I will not come back to ask again. Not because I don't value other human beings but because I seriosuly do. Because I genuinely accept and respect one's decisions to refuse. If you are an adult I assume you have thought about a decision before expressing it. If you were a kid who needs to be coaxed into a particular experience, I will try a couple of times. But definitely not if you are above 18 years. I mention the figure not cause it testifies anything in particular, but even the world's oldest democracy gives you legal rights to get married, have sex, procreate, to be prosecuted in non-juvenile courts et al at that age. Those I consider the BIG decisions of life. So I am sure you are responsible enough to decide on things that you want to do with your time otherwise.

Thats where I feel parenting comes in. All our growing up years, we are always encouraged to say 'yes'. We are encouraged to not express our disagreement publicly. We are made to feel terrible about refusals, disapprovals, denials and rejection. What we miss out on is that these are matters of personal choices and nobody gets defined by anybody else's expressions. What we miss out on is that it is not always amicable to agree. Sometimes it takes just a push over the edge to be amicable while disagreeing.

Perseverence & persuasion are virtues definitely but as we go along our days, knowing where to draw a fence becomes irreplaceable. And like you gaurd your own boundaries, allow others to gaurd theirs. And do not corelate & confuse a series of emotions such as love, care, affection with expression of denial.

Now after all the deliberation, I feel and I urge all my readers to find yourself a rights of admission notice in life. Please say assertive "No's" when you don't want to do a particular thing. And develop an extra ba** to accept even a polite "No". Coz that is the tough part.

Oscar Wilde's "The Selfish Giant" had a beautiful garden with 12 peach trees and fragrant flowers(which is interpreted as Paradise) and that fell into perpetual winters with the wall built around and the famous words put out "TRESSPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED". May be coz of the use of a strong word as prosecution this phrase has an extreme connotation, but has still found its popularity among all generations since it was immortalised by the author. In today's world to protect the paradise inside of you and have the christ child visit you to blossom your frangrant flowers and the spring to sing in your heart- it is almost imperative to keep the noise and chaos of trespassers(my use here is indicative to the old saying and not personal to anyone) out.

Disclaimer: Some of you will feel and find resemblance of our conversations lately in the post above. BUT Any (even faint) similarity to any persons living and/or dead (especially alive & kicking ones), or events, real and/or imaginary (especially real) is purely, totally, completely and/or most probably accidentally coincidental."(#source of inspiration:jimmydumps)

Stay Well Everyone. Love to you all.

The "Bangali" in me........Quintessentially Clandestine

Almost everyday when my alarm(which incidently is a technical phone beep) goes off at 6am, there is a song playing in my head. It is so precise that it surprises me. How when I mostly do not even recall my dreams I am able to remember the lyrics and tune as if someone sang to me right then.

Well,the first thing that I do each morning is to play music anyways; and on the days when I have these unique ones playing on my mind long before I even wake up, I play those FIRST. Today I woke upto this song: Tagore's "Aasha Jabaar Pother Dhaare". I first heard this song on my summer vacations some 15years ago from a cousin who was comprehensively trained in what all Bangalis resonate with - 'Robindrosangeet'. As didi sang this song to all of us assembled in a north-side room of our ancestral house in Medinipore on a sultry summer night, I felt an irresistable urge to learn the song and keep it by heart. I eventually did learn the song by that fall. This song was also the first amongst choice of songs for my All India Radio show later that year. Please don't re-read that last line- coz yes I do not come across as a singer anymore. And I also only today remembered about this one-off feat of mine so many years ago. But all Bangali girls are singers in their teens(mostly) and we all sing Robindrosangeet.

At this point, I wish to bring to my reader's attention this whole connection between us Bangalis and our own Robindranath Thakur. Actually it is not exactly like you read it; not that simple. It is more deep-rooted than one can comprehend - "Aamader Nijer Robindronath".I am sorry to sound over-possesive and at times even under-mining non-bengali ideas of Tagore, but seriously(but not offensively) I feel that apart from scholars who research on his subject and even them at times, common people cannot comprehend the expanse that is Tagore. I am yet to find another parallel to Tagore's following amongst bangalis in any other community atleast in India. So sometimes I am at a loss of words and expressions to explain to friends and colleagues when they ask what is our big deal with Tagore. And yes there are enough ignorant people around us even in most evolved habitats, where we go about our days and years.

My brother and I grew up on a staple diet of Robindronath all through our childhood. Rather I would honestly claim that our love for cultural literature actually started there. And with him, we learnt the most important aspect of culture, religions, regions, caste, creed- it is acceptance & tolerance. His writings stand for everything liberal & blatantly honest, bare. His songs, poems, stories encompasses almost every situation that the human race could broadly be subjected to, in the era he lived in and beyond it too. Like the song I woke up to this morning: "Aasha Jabaar Pother Dhaare". The song has such a wide relevance that it has never ceased to intrigue me in the last 15years that I have been listening to it. This is not to say that his other work of literature hasn't affected me. This is only about this particular song and me. I am going to attempt to explain the song to you all(pardon me for any irregularities). This is not a translation. This is MY INTERPRETATION; and why it touches a different chord each time I listen to it.

Well, also I would urge each of you to think and express in comments what you feel. Please feel free to critique and add to mine - as that remains my quest from my own writings. I will not have a round off statement at the end of this blog and leave my readers with just Robindronath's magic. That will be the befitting culmination of my day today.

The song was written on 25th March 1922. Tagore was 60. 


Aasha Jabaar Pother Dhaare Gaan Geye Mor
Ketechhe Din,
Besides the path of mundane tread, my days have gone by singing my song
As the world passes by, I sit along the way and sing my song

Jabaar Bailaye Debo Kaare Buker Kaachhe
Bajlo Je Biin
The day of the departure, with whom shall I leave behind the notes closest to my chest
When the day of judgement arrives, whom should I handover my heart's tunes

Shuur Guli Taar Nana Bhaage Rekhe Jaabo
Pushpo Raage
The notes I will divide in many parts and arrange in floral notations
The notations of my heart's music I shall neatly illustrate like flowers bloom- flawlessly

MiidGuli Taar Megher Rekhaaye Swarno Lekhaaye
Korbo Biliin
The rhythm and intricacies will be drawn in golden drawings in the skyline
The highs and lows of my heart, I will draw intricately like clouds in golden lines

Kichhu Ba She MilanMalaye Jugol Golaaye
Roi Be Gaathaa
Some notes will stay strung together in garlands that young couples exchange at marriages
The notes will be carried beyond this lifetimes as they bring the right and might in youth together in a transcendental union

Kichhu Ba She Bhijiye Debe Dui Chahoniir
Chokher Pata
Some will bring tears to young lovers eyelids
Some will drench in themselves the two who have found their calling in each other

Kichhu Ba Kon Choitro Maasher
Bokul Dhaka Boner Ghaashe
Moner Kothar Tukdo Aamar
Kudiye Paabe, Kon Udashiin
Some will be found with the Bakul flowers on grass bed of this forest, with strewn pieces of my heartfelt words by an incurious person walking this path.
The rest of the notes with my heart's story/chapters/details will perhaps be discovered by lonesome soul wanderer among the Bakul flowers on this forest trail when the white of the flowers would envelope the green of the forest in all-encompassing love of all seasons. Like the flowers fall to embrace the earth in unconditional love, my heart's tunes may be embraced by this disinterested wanderer and may it resonate with his heart's tune and revert his apathetic indifferent view of the world.

Above I consider is a very brave attempt. May be it should not have been. But Now it is here for you to read. So here it goes, interpreted twice coz I could not cover even the gist in the first go. Please leave a comment with what you feel.

Thanks for dropping by. Look forward to many more visits from all of you.